How To Bet On The Super Bowl
A guide for hosts and guests
Sports betting is bad for a lot of reasons: it turns fandom into something you can be bad at, it bleeds the pockets of many, and it turns a national past time into a compulsive and ruinous addiction for more than a handful of fellas.
Also it cost your dear author a redacted amount of money; my Dad reads these.
With that said, there is one occasion in which sports betting is, in my opinion, a positive good: and that is the Super Bowl.
When betting on the Super Bowl, it is critically to know what you are and aren’t doing. If you follow these two principles, you will be okay.
You are making a national football game more exciting and more interesting for yourself and others.
You are not wagering a mood-changing amount of money.
Meaning, if your bets keep you sullen and on your phone, you can’t make them––even if you end up winning $30, you’ve lost the occasion.
That’s why we’re doing a betting situation for the socially aware: this ideally works if you’re hosting a small get-together, but can work as a “pot luck” donation as a guest as well.
You’re giving people bet slips.
Here’s how this works: you are giving every person three rooting interests, written down on paper, distributed at random, based on correlating bets you’ve made on the betting app of your choice.
These three bets are as follows:
An exact-score in either direction
A four-leg anytime touchdown parlay
A share of the overtime jackpot.
That’s it.
An exact-score ticket in either direction would mean (for this example) that you bet on Eagles 31 Chiefs 28 as well as Chiefs 31 and Eagles 28: it’s easier to remember numbers than teams, and easier to write down.
These exact-score payouts pay out about 100-1 or better, so for a buck or two everyone gets a share. Be sure to pick fairly high numbers so everyone can root for scoring.
If that ticket hits, in either direction? They get $100.
The second is a four-leg anytime touchdown parlay. Here, you’re betting that any four players will score a touchdown, and all four need to do so. These are easy to make at 100-1 or so as well, so for a buck or two you can make 100-1 payoffs easily.
If that ticket hits? They get $100.
Since these multiple-leg anytime touchdown parlays will overlap, you’ll see a lot of celebrating throughout, high-fives etc.
The third is my favorite: bet on overtime. At 13-1, you’ll need to pony up about $7.50 a guest (again, this is better if you’re a host) so that if it hits overtime, everyone gets a $100.
In practice, this means:
People are rooting for and celebrating touchdowns
People are rooting for and scheming towards exact scores
People are united in hoping for a close game (and thus overtime)
In other words: people are rooting, passionate, and excited at $10 a head, with multiple paths to $100 jackpots (and, theoretically, routes to $200 or 300 too).
If you’re hosting 10 people, this will cost about $100 to put together. A worthwhile donation for a memorable party trick––plus the potential joy of a winning ticket.